Dancing on Thin Ice
by BlackStarrs
Summary: "It was suddenly as if a fog lifted in my mind. Our relationship was never equal, and never had been." What happens when Bella reaches a realization? She lets Edward make a choice, but how will Edward react when he discovers the consequences of his seemingly simple decision? They've gotten past James and Edward's departure in New Moon. But will this split them up for good?
1. Chapter 1

*Disclaimer: I don't own anything… *sobs in a corner*

Chapter One

Bella POV

He stared at me with a face full of pain. It felt like someone was squeezing my heart as if their life depended on it. I regretted my words already. I already knew his answer. He had never truly loved me. All of his broken promises swirled into my mind. When he left, he said that it would be as if he had never existed…but he broke that one. Alice came back when I had jumped off the cliff. I saw him and touched him when I stopped him in Volterra. He had promised to stay by my side…I gasped. Back in the hospital after the James incident…he had never actually promised me. He was planning to leave all this time! My heart cracked beneath the pressure. I wasn't his mate…and I probably never had been either. I was just a fling to him, a couple years of romance to pass the time. Then, when he eventually got bored of me, I wouldn't be a problem. I would be old and fragile. Edward once told me that time passes quickly for vampires. The seventy, eighty years left of my life would be a breeze for him and at the end of the wind, I would be dead.

As I finally reached my epiphany, I glanced up. Edward had frozen in his spot in my rocking chair. I already knew his answer, his scrunched up face when I asked him told me everything. He didn't care. _He never had._

"Bella...you know I don't want that for you," he tried to reason with me. Keyword, _tried_. I understood now...I understood everything. He was playing with my feelings. Maybe he'd keep up with this facade until I die, after all, it wouldn't be that long for him. I was just a distraction. He once told me that vamp- his kind is easily distracted. Maybe _I_ was the distraction, for something that happened before I was even alive.

I was no longer a child. Perhaps in the Cullen family's eyes I was a mere toddler, a baby in comparison to their hundreds of years of experience. However, to a normal human, I was an adult. I could think for myself...a concept that Edward didn't seem to understand. Or maybe he just didn't want to.

As I thought back, everything seemed to make sense. Edward always acted as if I never had an opinion. He was whine, get mad, or even dazzle me.

The thought infuriated me. Who does _he _think he is? He is most certainly _not_ my father. A relationship should be equal and fair. It was suddenly as if a fog lifted in my mind. Our relationship was never equal, and never had been. Edward seemed to put me on a pedestal, opening car doors and carrying me, but in reality he thought I was below him.

Another knife wrenched itself into my heart. _I was below him._ Honestly, I had known that a long time ago...

"Bella?" Edward's velvet voice interrupted my thoughts again. I turned to face him. He was standing now, out of the old rocking chair.

"Yes?" My voice was rough and scratchy. I could barely get the words out of my mouth.

"What's wrong love? You seem out of it." Images flew through my head...the party, the forest, his face...the pain, the depression, the motorcycles, the cliff…

"Everything." His face scrunched up again, this time with confusion rather than pain.

"Bella...talk to m-"

"Leave." His face shot up with surprise.

"What? Is this about you changing again? Bella you know I don-"

"_Leave. _Now," I solemnly uttered. His confusion finally disappeared, replaced with pained eyes. He stepped towards me, thinking he could calm me down. Ignorant jerk. I won't be made a fool of any longer.

"Bella, we can talk this ou-"

"Get _out_! You made your choice…so now I'm making mine." His face screwed up in anger. Anger? Why is _he_ mad?

"I see. You're just another stupid human aren't you? …Wishing only for immortality, for beauty. How vain! What a fool I've made of myself. Ha!" Edward's laugh was cold and harsh. He flew out of my room, and the window slammed close.

His words hit straight to my heart. He thought I was stupid huh? That I only wanted to be beautiful, and was using him? What kind of person does he think I am!I was pissed…I was broken. I fell in a heap on the floor. I knew he didn't love me. I never thought he would call me a stupid human. Heh. As it may be, I probably was. Falling in love with a vampire. What was I thinking? I suddenly heard a choking sound. What? Was someone in my room? I scanned my room. No one was here.

"Gak. Gak."

There it was again. My head swiveled around. Everything was suddenly buzzing and vibrating. I looked down. Oh. _Oh. _It was me. I was shaking like crazy. Ha! He doesn't even love me, but my heart still misses him! I was a pathetic mess without him.

My head was swarming with thoughts and memories as I crawled over to the bathroom. Hand by hand, foot by foot I silently reached the bathroom. Charlie was asleep right now. I wonder…how long would it take…for someone to notice me?

My reflection was pale and ghostly as I stood and glanced in the mirror. Hmm…it doesn't matter anymore. My hand slinked to the drawer, sliding it open carefully. My shaking hands grabbed the metallic object. It slid across my wrist…

* * *

_Peace…_

**A/N:  
Haha wow. Even for me that was an unexpected ending. It just happened okay! Don't blame the poor, tired author! Review peeps! **

**P.S. I left a hint of someone who's coming into the story later. Did you catch the hint?**

**P.P.S. Giant hugs to my beta team, my BBFs Eraser Bitz and masterb2! They are amazing~! **


	2. Chapter 2

*Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight!

Chapter Two

Edward POV

"What wrong love? You seem out of it?" I asked. I was concerned. Something was wrong.

"Everything." What? Everything was wrong? My brain went on rapid fire. Was there something wrong with her? Did she have to do something? Was she embarrassed for some reason? My mind spun with all of the possibilities…until it finally paused. Had _I_ done something wrong? I thought back to earlier, but I didn't have to go far to get my answer. _Of course._ Bella wants to be changed, and is probably going to throw a fit now. I mentally sighed.

"Bella…talk to m-"

"Leave," she interrupted. I was surprised. When I plead with her she can't resist. So why wasn't it working now?

"What? Is this about you changing again? Bella you know I don-"

"_Leave. _Now," she interrupted again. She was mad I could tell. But at what? Normally she doesn't get so mad. We've had this conversation so many times she should be able to _predict_ my answer. I didn't want her to become a monster, having to suck blood just to live. She _knew_ that.

"Bella, we can talk this ou-"

"Get _out_! You made your choice…so now I'm making mine."

…I understood now. I left out a word in my previous sentence. She'd have to suck blood _forever_. That's all she wanted. She was using me to achieve a stupid mortal idea –living for eternity. I was furious. Not at her, never at my ange-…never at Bella. I was furious at myself. For being tricked so long. I thought back now…and I came to a heart wrenching conclusion. _Jacob_. He was a werewolf that lived eternally if he kept on changing. I bet that Bella only wanted to become a vampire so she could be with him. Ha! What was I thinking? Of course my ange-…Bella could never love a monster like me. In the end, all of my thoughts only left me alone, broken, and furious. My thoughts had only taken a few seconds before I replied.

"I see. You're just another stupid human aren't you? …Wishing only for immortality, for beauty. How vain! What a fool I've made of myself. Ha!" My laugh was cold and harsh. I was such a fool.

I practically flew out the window, slamming it shut. I didn't want to hear her answer…her admittance that she had been so close to her pathetic mortal dream. The trees whooshed by as I ran and ran. I didn't know where I was running; my only conscious thought was that I _was _running.

My mind was filled with thoughts as I was dashing past the trees. I felt so disconnected.

"BAM!" It resounded in my ears. What happened?

I looked down. D*mn. I was so out of it that I ran into a tree. An image flashed through my mind.

"_Are you still worried now?" I murmured. _

"_Yes. About hitting trees and getting sick."_

_My cold breath blew across her skin. "And now?" I asked._

"_Trees...motion sickness."_

"_Bella, you don't really think I would hit a tree do you?"_

"_No, but I might."_

I laughed in my head. Oh the irony. If only she could see me now…

_Agony. _That was the only thing I could feel in my suddenly numb body. No, it wasn't from the tree. It was mental torture –the one that Cinderella would feel if she discovered Prince Charming in _the act_ with her vile stepsister.

I was rooted to my spot, sprawled out on the cold forest floor. I didn't know where I was…perhaps somewhere in the Canadian Rockies.

A shot of pain flew through my head. I growled. Shouldn't I be only numb at this point?

"Thump." There was the pain again. Considering my mental numbness and my vampire strength it must be something really strong for me to actually feel pain. It. My head swiveled at that word. No one was there.

"Bonk." My head moved quicker this time. I caught a flash of blue.

"Who's there?" I called out angrily. I was not in the mood for pranks.

"I'm not there, but I'm certainly right here," a bell like voice chimed out.

"Who are you? Why are you here?" I replied, annoyed. I knew it was someone supernatural. There was no way a normal human could've hit my head so hard, and moved away so quickly.

A petite girl dressed in a frilly white blouse and a black pencil skirt came out. Luscious, wavy black hair bounced against her arms. I took a double take as I looked into her eyes –rainbow. They seemed to stare right into my soul, flashing blue, red, green…brown…

"My name is Emily, and you are stupid," the girl retorted.

I was officially ticked off. Who was this girl? What right did she have to come here, whack me in the head, and call me stupid?

"Wow, I never thought I'd meet such a dumb supernatural being," was my biting response.

"Hah! You _are _stupid. What indication did I give you that I was a dumb supernatural? I bet you don't even know what I am. Sheesh! Calling a girl you just met stupid. Not only are you dense, but you're also ungentlemanly."

I winced. My mother was one of my remaining faint memories of my human life. She had taught me to always be a gentleman. I prided myself to always display proper manners, even if Bell- some people opposed to it. This girl however, was really getting on my nerves. I had the right mind to teach her a lesson.

"I apologize for my rudeness. If I may please ask, what are you, and why are you bothering me?" I managed to mutter out.

"I'm a fairy…and I'm here because you are an idiot that will ruin a beautiful relationship just because you refuse to talk to the girl you love."

A fairy? I didn't even know those existed. Her words jolted through me. How did she know all that?

"As if that matters anymore, she was just using me to become immortal."

"You are one stupid, stupid, stupid, stu-"

"OKAY, I GET IT ALREADY!"

"Don't interrupt me! If you just _listened_ to Bella, and asked _why_ she wanted to be immortal, then I wouldn't even _be_ here! And no, it was _not_ because of a pathetic mortal dream!"

"Of course I knew why Bella wanted to become immortal. If it wasn't because she was like any human, then it was because…because…"

I paused. Bella was never a normal human. That meant she wouldn't have used me just to become a vampire. Did that mean she loved me? A rush of giddiness filled my heart. She loved me! It felt as if the world had started spinning again.

Then it jerked to a stop. The consequences of her actually loving me suddenly poured into my mind. _Oh no_. I told Bella that she was just another stupid human. In truth, it was me that should've gotten some sense knocked into. I –I was horrible to her. My words were so cruel and vindictive. She'd never forgive me…she probably hated me now.

"She loves you, with all her life." Emily whispered.

"I… I know." My voice cracked in grief. I said I knew…but did I really?

"She'll take you back you know…"

My eyes sparked. Could I really hope that Bella still loved me? After I had hurt her time after time again? Even when I had doubted and shot down her love for me? When I had insulted her so harshly? I would be the happiest person on the world if she did.

"She will?" I was hesitant in asking. How did Emily know _so much_? I pushed this thought into the back of my head. My priority was to get Bella to forgive me.

"Yeah. You better go though. Make this all up to her, and never hurt her again okay?"

"Thanks." With that, I dashed off back towards Forks.

**A/N:**

***Flashback from Twilight p. 362**

**What will happen when Edward gets back and finds Bella? o.O Haha he's gonna totally spazz out of course! Review please! (Constructive criticism accepted)**

**P.S. There was more foreshadowing! ^_~**

**P.P.S. Yay~ to my beta readers Eraser Bitz and masterb2!**


	3. Chapter 3

*Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight!

Chapter Three

Emily POV

I began to get bored of watching them. I knew that Edward was a stubborn fool. He would end up jumping to the wrong conclu- ah. There we go. There's the Eddie I know. Rolling my eyes I prepared to follow Edward as he left Bella's room in a rage. What an imbecile. How could he think that Bella pretended to love him so she could become immortal? Sighing, I located Edward with my newly found skills, and teleported to the Canadian Rockies.

Haha, this is so fun. As soon as I arrived, I started whacking Edward. Heehee. Using my fairy powers I flew behind a tree every time he turned around.

Edward finally got annoyed and called me out. Grinning, I stepped out from behind the tree. Taking a deep breath, I braced myself for the confrontation.

Following my predictions, he asked all of the typical questions. ––What am I? Who am I? Why was I here? How did I know so much about him?–– It was especially amusing calling him names while we talked. After annoying him, I remembered my purpose. _Sigh._ I had to get the two stubborn donkeys back together. I had been watching their conversation earlier, and while they didn't understand each other, I most certainly understood both of their thoughts. Everything could be solved if they just listened to each other, and talked about their fears. It would also help if they got over their low self esteem. Now to get _them_ to comprehend that...

I asked Edward the most vital question. _Why did he think that Bella was like the typical human –using him only to become immortal? _He was amazed at her lack of fear of vampires, and thought that she was abnormal, so why?

I watched his face as he pondered the question. His eyebrows had scrunched up in concentration, and his mouth curved down. I stood there silently as his eyes finally widened. There it was! _Success!_ I mentally congratulated myself on a job well done. I couldn't wait to return and tell this story to everyone! On a second thought...I don't think Dad would find it too amusing...

Edward's frown had turned upside down. I smiled happily, and was about to speak when suddenly his face crushed in pain. What? What was wrong now? Oh...he thought Bella wouldn't forgive him and didn't love him anymore. Sheesh. I can't catch a break!

Low self confidence was a delicate problem, and had to be handled with care. I gently suggested that Bella still loved him, but his face showed his hesitance. I tried again, telling him that she would take him back. This sparked some life into him, which made me wonder... Why didn't he believe that Bella still loved him, but believed she would take him back? Don't those two go hand in hand? Or was it just that he thought I was some pixie prophet?

Thanking me, Edward quickly sprinted off through the forest.

* * *

One down, one to go. I was in a happy daze for a few moments, before realizing that I needed to talk to Bella before Edward got there. Grinning, I quickly teleported back to Forks. I loved my temporary fairy powers!

I walked to Bella's house. Standing under her window, I unfolded my wings and lifted myself up. I glanced around the room, spotting Bella in a corner. What I saw tore up my heart. She looked like a mess. Pain filled my heart, and silent sobs came spluttering out. "Gak. Gak." I saw her spinning around looking for someone. I quickly hid next to the window. Trying to control my breath, I waited.

"Thump. Thump. Thump."

I wondered what she was doing. Still, I waited patiently, squished against the house in midair.  
A few minutes passed. Finally, the thumps muted, and I sneaked into the room. Her window creaked loudly, probably because of Edward. I slipped into her room, hoping she hadn't heard the loud noise. I decided to sit in the old rocking chair and wait for her to return. We would talk, and then I'd leave. Afterwards, Edward would finally arrive, they'd talk, and hopefully everything would be okay again.

Rocking the chair back and forth soothed my nerves. It was quite calming in the room, and I was about to fall asleep.

Then the blood in my veins froze.

A smell of rust wafted my way.

Shocked, I jumped up, tracing the scent to the restroom. My hands shook as they opened the door. My eyes scanned the room...I stiffened. My body was chilled to the bone.

* * *

_NO!_

* * *

**A/N: Haha when I typed "pixie prophet" I totally thought of Alice! ****Did you enjoy the chapter? Only two left to go! R&R please!**

**P.S. Great thanks to my beta team, Eraser Bitz and masterb2! They are the best, and I could not do this without them!**

**P.P.S. I have been updating weekly (if you noticed…), but I've been so busy recently! I am sooo sorry to say that chapter 4 won't be up for at least two weeks (if not more) . It's all my school's fault for giving me so much homework!**


	4. Chapter 4

*Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Twilight…if I did, I'd own a Ferrari…

Chapter Four

Bella POV

I jolted in shock from the sting. It hurt, of course, but the pain brought a certain ecstasy with it. I took a glimpse into the mirror, and was instantly disturbed. My face...it looked..._serene_. It appeared as if I were simply lying in my bed, rather than cutting in the bathroom.

That scared me. I didn't want to be at peace. No. I wanted to be angry, furious at Edward for not loving me, for leading me on. Yet, I couldn't. I was mad at myself –for falling for his act– but I was calm. I was so far gone from the world –and in love with Edward no matter what– that I managed to accept everything. I knew that I was never good enough and even so, I knew that I could never get in the way of Edward's happiness. No matter what he wished, I would comply with them if it would make him happy. Should he choose to break me or not, that was up to him.

...Although I told myself that, I knew that I couldn't live without him. I yearned for him to choose me, to lov-.

There was a sharp inhale of horror.

I tilted my head up, halting as a _pixie_ appeared? Huh. Who knew that such a little loss of blood could make me hallucinate... Peeking down at my wrist, I raised my eyebrow. Oops...maybe a bit more than little.

There was a crimson puddle the size of a small plate surrounding my limp hand. A continuous drip of red supplied the maroon blob. A choked sob brought back my attention.

Worry filled me. Why was the pixie crying? My head slowly turned, looking for the source of her pain –the sink, the bathtub, and the shower curtains. Nothing came to mind.

"What have you done?" the pixie whimpered. What? What was she talking about? I hadn- oh.

"He never loved me."

Her harsh, but aching laugh echoed in my ears. "Fools! Both of you are fools."

Both? What was she talking about?

Her voice suddenly became soft and soothing. "He loves you."

I scoffed. There was no way I would believe that. Her face turned sympathetic.

"He has always loved you. You know how he is, with so much self guilt and blame. He has constantly called himself a monster. He has even convinced his own heart. Edward only wants the best for you. He fervently wishes that you won't be condemned to a life of drinking blood." She seemed so sincere, and there was a natural instinct inside of me, yelling at me that she was telling the truth.

I stared at her, contemplating the possibility. If she was correct, then I had made a huge mistake. _Oh no_. I told Edward to leave, and he did. He would never come back. I won't ever see him again!

As if she could read my mind, she quickly reassured me. "He will return, after all, he still loves you. I know it."

Her words comforted me, but they struck an odd chord. How did she know all of this? Who was she? Nervousness occupied my easily distracted mind.

"Who are you?" I finally blurted out. I didn't know who she was. What if she tried to hurt me or kidnap me? My thoughts paused. Hmm. If she was trying to harm me then she wouldn't have bothered to comfort me. I supposed she was a good person –err pixie.

"My name is Emily, call me Emy. I- I can't tell you why I know so much right now, but in the future, you will understand!"

Emy looked very apologetic. I wonder what she meant when she said that I would understand in the future…strange.

After a few more questions, Emy asked if she could see my room. I shrugged, and started to get up. A searing pain ripped through my left arm. I instantly collapsed back onto the tile floor.

"Oh! Are you okay? I'm so sorry I totally forgot you were injured!" Emy's frantic voice exclaimed. She quickly grabbed some toilet paper, dabbing at the cut. Once she cleaned it, I inspected the line carefully. It was as thin as a strand of hair, and about two inches long.

"We need to disinfect it. This may sting," Emy warned me. In her hand was a wet paper towel, doused in rubbing alcohol.

"Ah!" I took a sharp breath.

Examining her work, her shoulders slumped. "You made a pretty profound cut. Hold still, this might tickle," she said.

Emy carefully placed my hand in hers, and started chanting. "Sana, sana, sanare. Qui intelligat hoc? Oh omnipotens cælos placere suos eximendi carpi!"

The cut started glowing as the flaps of skin sealed together. I watched in silence, stunned. I was glowing for almost a minute when it suddenly faded.

"There. All done," Emy exclaimed happily. I didn't take my eyes off.

"H- h- how did you do that?" I questioned.

"It comes with being a fairy. I have healing powers –I can only heal small scratches though. Oh, and be careful. It might open again if you stress it too hard," she explained with a chirp. Wow. That's so cool. I wish I could be a useful person like Emily.

"It comes in handy sometimes. I inherited my clumsiness from my mom," she continued with a secret grin. This girl was really puzzling sometimes.

* * *

We had a pleasant chat about the most random things. It was bizarre though, Emy seemed to know all of these random things about me. They slipped out of her mouth throughout our conversation, and every time she gave me a shocked glance. She would rapidly compose herself, but I still caught the swift glimpses.

There was a lull in our conversation. We had talked about practically everything possible, and so Emily was currently exploring the finest details of my room. She pranced around the room happily.

"Hey Emily?" I asked quietly. She continued as if I had never spoken. "Emily? _Emy_?" My voice turned louder and finally caught her attention.

"Wha-? Oh. Sorry. I got distracted," she said with a flustered chuckle. That was weird. I couldn't have been speaking to anyone else _but_ her. She didn't even react when she heard me talking...bizarre.

"OH! Look at the time! I have to leave!" Emily quickly exclaimed.

"What? You're leaving now? Why?" I asked, rather alarmed.

"Bella, make sure you make your feelings clear to Edward. You both love each other a lot, but your weakness is that you two undermine the other's love. Tell him what you want, and why you want it. Don't back down, stay strong, and don't let Edward off too easily okay? You two are equals. I must go now. Don't worry! You will see me again!" she said confidently. Waving goodbye, she took a step towards the window.

"Wai–!"

She disappeared into thin air.

* * *

I sat on my bed, dumbfounded. It felt like a whirlwind just passed by my head. Emily's words circled in my mind. _We both love each other. Our problem is that neither of us believes that the other loves us as much…We are _equals_._

Perhaps I had never understood the relationship between Edward and me until now. It was both of our faults. I had made our relationship unbalanced by putting Edward above me. He was always my Greek God, my strong vampire. However, Edward had also never stopped me. He continued to play the gentleman who couldn't let me open a door by myself. He wouldn't let me make my own decisions…It was both of our faults. I suppose it was time to fix that.

Just as I made this decision in my mind, I was startled out of the clouds and back down to Earth.

A rock had hit my window, crashing through and leaving a big hole. I heard a quiet mutter from outside. "Whoops."

"Who's out there? Show yourself!" I called out from my window.

There was another muffled expletive mumbled outside. I moved back to my bed when I heard a rustle. A dim figure appeared. I blinked. The light shifted.

_Edward! _He came back!

"I'm sorry. I love you," his hushed voice murmured.

I was about to reply, when Emily's words resounded in my ears. _Don't let Edward off too easily._ I hardened my face.

"You left."

"I know. I wasn't thinking right…" Edward drifted off. He looked as if was concentrating really hard, and then suddenly blurted, "I love you Bella. I- I just can't d-"

I interrupted him, sighing loudly. We were in for a long night because I won't be giving in. He didn't try speaking again, so after awhile I finally spoke.

"Why?"

"What?" A look of confusion filled his face.

"Why won't you change me?"

"Bell-"

"_Why_? Give me a good reason," I asked, cutting him short again.

"I don't want you to have to suck blood okay? I want you to be human, to be able to enjoy simply human things! You say you want to be immortal, but you don't know how you'll feel once you finally do! You say you don't care if you won't be able to have kids or see your parents again, but I know you will! Even if it's after a few hundred of years, you _will_ eventually miss the simple things of life, like sleep and food. Esme, Rosalie, and even the hyper pixie Alice miss the daily experiences of life. Hundreds of years in darkness, and you will be yearning to see the sunlight, to feel its warmth on your skin. I don't want that for you. I wouldn't wish it on even my worst enemy!"

Edward was gasping for unneeded breath after his rant. Frustration came clear across his face.

I stayed motionless, gathering my thoughts. Collecting all of my courage, I began _my_ rant, "I _will_ miss the sun, yearn for a child, and fervently wish for sleep…I might even have a longing to be able to cry real tears! What you can't seem to comprehend is that no matter what, in the end, I will feel as if it was all worth it. I'd much rather live with the man I _love_ than live a life with some random man, putting on a façade every day, pretending I was happy."

Tears ran down my face as I finished. A sob wracked my body, and I broke down crying.

Suddenly his arms were around me, comforting me, holding me. Minutes passed before I finally calmed down. The feeling of safety saturated my body.

That made me angry.

Pushing away his cold arms, I grew even more furious. How dare he make me forget my goal, melting into his arms, and forgiving him!

"Make your choice." I stated coldly.

"Huh?"

"Choose. Love me for _eternity_ or don't love me."

He stayed silent, unmoving. _Oh no_. What if he chooses to not love me? All of my muscles tensed. Didn't Emily say that he loved me?

"I love you. I want to be with you forever. Please," I pleaded.

"I love you too, Bella."

I sighed in relief. Everything was okay again.

"Can't we come up with some other way…?"

_SMACK! _

My slap echoed in the small bedroom. Edward's face was a perfect epitome of shock. How _dare_ he try that face on me! As soon as he began that sentence, Edward's face had turned pleading. He wrinkled his eyes, and turned up that stupid crooked grin of his. He was intentionally trying to dazzle me into _submission!_ THAT JERK!

Huffing, I grew angrier. "You just said you love me! If you truly love me, then you would want to be with me forever! I don't care how freaking _selfless_ you are trying to be! Haven't you ever heard the phrase "love is selfish" in your century old life? It was _because_ Romeo and Juliet loved each other so much that they defied their parents! They were being _selfish!_"

My breaths were rapid but shallow. The look on Edward's face brought me great satisfaction. He seemed shocked that I had finally had the guts to stand up to him and his stupid _dazzling_.

When I had finally calmed down a little, Edward was still standing there with a dumbfounded look.

There was an eerie silence. Neither one of us dared to speak.

I became restless, and shifted. Ripping pain shot up my arm. Edward's eyes widened and he turned even paler as his vision moved down my arm. Just then, a pungent waft of rust and salt came my way. I sucked in a breath through my teeth and glimpsed down.

* * *

_CRAP!_

That was my last thought as I fell into blackness.

* * *

**A/N: YAY~! I actually got this chapter done in time for my weekly update! I know I posted a note saying that I wouldn't but I worked extra hard just for my loving readers!**

**Emily was acting weird in this chapter, because **_**guess what!**_** Emily isn't who she says she is! o.O So my dear readers, who do you think Emily actually is? I have left several clues in this chapter and in chapter two. Review if you think you know who Emily is and if you like my story or have suggestions! (First person to review and get her identity correct, I **_**might**_** pm them with an excerpt of the beginning of chapter 5 ^_~)**

**Reviews are like yummy candy ^_^**

**I love my beta readers ****Eraser Bitz and masterb2 as always!**

**P.S. You are absolutely amazing if you could read the "spell" that Emily did. Heehee. Who knows what Emily said? (Without the help of Google Translate)**


	5. Chapter 5

*Disclaimer:  
Me: I own Twilight!  
Stephenie Meyer: *appears with a knife*  
Me: FINE! I don't own Twilight! It's all Stephenie's! *runs away sobbing*

Chapter Five

Normal POV

_She was surrounded by darkness and nothingness. She had been there for a while, with no memory how she arrived. Reaching her hand out, she was barely able to see the contours of her own body._

"_Hello? Is someone there? Hello?" she called out to no avail._

_There was a sudden clack._

_Her head whirled around still spotting nothing. It was cold –her whole body shivered again at just the thought. A thick, gooey liquid slowly started to rise from the floor, going unnoticed at first. Then it suddenly swelled, and multiplied in volume. It covered her feet, her knees, and then her hips as she screeched for help. The girl frantically trudged her way through, trying to escape, not even knowing if she was making progress. She was slowly being pulled down into the massive sea of goo. The vicious substance slowly crept up, to her stomach, to her neck, to her chin. High pitched shrilling did nothing to help her as the dense liquid inched up. Her head bobbed under. She choked on the thick, repugnant goo. She surfaced again. Gasping for breath, she made one last attempt for help._

"_SOMEONE! HELP M–"_

* * *

Beep...beep...beep...

Bella shot up from her bed. Still wheezing for air, her head swiveled around, taking in her surroundings –plain white walls, a few chairs, some sort of machine.

A_ dream._ It was all just a dream. She _hadn't_ been pulled down to meet her end. As her brain processed this, she could not help but whisper the words, "Thank God."

Finally calming down, Bella slowly took a wary glance around. Then her eyes flew open as she recognized the room –the hospital. Her mind suddenly raced with questions. Why was she at the hospital? Bella cast her memory back trying to remember. She and Edward had gotten in a fight. He left, and then came back…and when he did they argued some more…Bella's eyes bulged. Her cut had reopened when she moved, and she probably fainted from the smell. That must be why she was at the hospital…

OH CRAP!

Edward was going to kill her. He was going to be so mad at her for trying to hurt herself! Bella bit her lip, nervous at the scolding she was going to get. Her mind was interrupted from further thoughts by a loud noise outside.

"I can't believe she did that. This is my entire fault! I shouldn't be in Bella's life," yelled an anguished voice from outside the door.

"You idiot! She was catatonic the first time you left, the second time she did _this!_ What do you think will happen if you leave for a third time, I quote, for her _own good?_ Will she actually succeed this time? Is that what you want Edward? You love her! Own up to that, or live miserably for the rest of your life knowing that _you_ made her do this! She loves you just as much as you love her. You won't be happy if you don't change her. What will happen if something like this occurs and it's fatal? She won't get the opportunity to be with you forever because of a stupid choice you made, and you will be devastated. The whole family will be."

There was a pause.

"…It was really close today Edward…she almost _died_. In those few seconds, a possible future passed through my mind. If she had died, you would have gone to the Volturi and gotten yourself killed. That would've broken everyone's hearts. Jasper wouldn't be able to take anymore of the suffering in the family, and I'd leave with him. After that, Rose and Emmett would take off. Our whole family broke apart in those few seconds."

The heartbreakingly sad voice had started furious and loud, but near the end she was whispering the words, trying to choke them out. Bella strained to hear the distressed voice. All was quiet for a brief minute.

Bella's vision had started to light up as they were speaking, and her brain also kicked back to full speed. It began whirring with all the information she just heard. Edward was the anguished voice; that she was certain of. Alice was the one who replied, since the person paired herself up with Jasper. Her mind was interrupted again by Edward and Alice.

"I love her so much Alice, but I'm scared. What will happen if I change her? Will that affect more than just her mortality? What if she starts to hate me for changing her? What if she finally sees me for the monster I am? I wouldn't be able to bear it if she hated me."

"Edward…Bella loves you! You need to get it into your thick skull that Bella won't ever leave you. I'm the freaking future telling _pixie!_" Alice spit out the last word in distaste. Edward chuckled. Bella's was twitching inside the hospital room. She wanted to go out there and tell Edward off so bad…

"Anyways, talk to Bella. I'm sure she doesn't think the same way you do. In fac–" Alice suddenly cut off, and then started laughing loudly.

"Why did you block you mind Alice?" asked Edward in a suspicious and slightly nervous voice.

"Haha…you find out later. Oh…you'll definitely find out." Alice giggled.

Bella quickly laid back down on the bed when she heard approaching footsteps. Alice opened the door, skipping inside with a secretive grin.

"How are you feeling Bella?" she asked.

Bella blinked, and Edward suddenly appeared in front of her.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything? Is anything wrong? When did you wake up? I still can't believe you faint at the smell of blood."

Edward bombarded her with questions and comments, worried at the beginning, but sad and pained towards the end. He hesitated before asking, "Why did you do it Bella? How could you even _think_ of doing that to yourself?"

Bella winced. She knew this was coming, in fact she expected it the moment she realized that he had found out what she did. With her thoughts at the time, and then Edward's words…it felt like he was just screaming at her that he didn't love her. The first time he left, she only survived thinking he was just doing this because of Jasper. But last night? He had no reason to leave…except that he didn't love her. Of course Bella understood _now_ that he truly did love her, she just wasn't thinking right at the time. Edward's inability to compromise and his stubbornness to even breach the subject of Bella's change infuriated her and clouded her judgment of his love. That's right! She was about to tell Edward off when he interrupted with his questions.

Alice laughed again, catching both Edward and Bella's attentions.

"Have fun Bella! I'll see you guys later!" she giggled, dancing out the door.

Bella thought she heard Edward mumble something along the lines of "that stupid, mind blocking, tiny pixie" but she wasn't too sure. Mentally steadying herself, Bella decided to unleash all of her feelings and thoughts.

"Edward…you want to know _everything_?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes," he replied, with a firm voice full of confidence. Bella thought, perhaps after she finished Edward wouldn't be so freaking confident.

"You aren't allowed to interrupt. You must let me finish _everything_, understand?"

"Of course," said his puzzled voice.

"You left me Edward! YOU FREAKING LEFT ME AGAIN!"

Edward's face looked like he objected, but Bella huffed in anger, effectively silencing him.

"After the whole birthday incident, you promised that you would never leave me. You said you loved me. If you love me, why won't you change me? How can you love me if you don't even want to be with me forever? You constantly assure me that you love me, yet it's _you_ who's giving me doubts! Every time you refuse to change me my mind always tells me, 'Edward doesn't want to change you because you're just a fling Bella.' IT'S YOUR DAMN FAULT!"

Bella paused, taking a breath. She caught the look of hurt on Edward's face and it pissed her off even more.

She indignantly continued, "Also, you wanted to know all of my thoughts about everything? Well I think you are way overprotective. God Edward, you're not my father. I _don't care_ if you are a hundred years old, or even _two_ hundred! If anything, that just makes you more prone to judging and stereotyping humans. I am eighteen years old. In _human_ terms, I am an adult. I can decide who I hang out with, and where I go. It's _not your choice_ if I hang out with Jacob. He's my friend, and _only_ my friend, regardless of what he wishes. As my boyfriend, you should be supporting me instead of getting jealous and being so selfish. Because you know what your jealousy tells me? It tells me that you don't _trust _me to keep a friends only relationship with Jacob. Your jealousy tells me that you are once again diminishing my love for you, not believing me when I tell you that I love _only_ you." A flicker of pain crossed Bella's face. "That hurts…a lot. You don't trust me, or believe me."

An awkward silence fills the hospital room. Bella looked away nervously. Edward silently crossed the room.

"I love you Bella…and if it's what you really want…I'll change you." He suddenly shifted, getting on one knee. Bella gasped. "Just…Will you marry me? Before I change you?"

Bella was frozen in shock on the hospital bed. Thousands of thoughts flew through her brain, but she was unable to process any of them. A few moments of silence passed. Bella still didn't answer. Edward's face looked crushed.

"I see. Excuse me," he whispered brokenly. He got up, face full of pain, rushing to the door.

"WAIT!"

He paused right at the doorframe.

"…Why do you want to get married?" Bella asked, looking a little shaken. Turning around, Edward's face brightened with hope.

"I want to marry you for the same reason you want to be changed Bella. I love you, and want to be with you forever. I was raised with certain morals, and if I had met you as a human back then, I would've proposed by now." A shy expression crossed his face. "To me, marrying someone is showing them that you want them forevermore."

There was a tense silence. Edward waited anxiously while Bella thought it over.

"If I…marry you…you will change me?" she thought out loud.

"Yes," he replied with a firm resolution.

"Before the change…can we have our honeymoon…?" Bella trailed off.

Stiffening Edward tersely replied, "I can't do that."

"B…bu–" Bella spluttered.

"I can't take that risk Bella. It would be extremely hard for me to keep control of myself."

"Please," she begged. "If I marry you, all I want is to have a proper honeymoon and then live with you forever. _Please._"

Torn by Bella's pleading look and the possibility of hurting her, Edward conceded defeat. Slowly nodding his head, he made his condition, "We will try, but if I start to hurt you or I can't hold back, we won't try again."

Happiness flashed through Bella's eyes, but they quickly hardened again. Edward wondered what the problem was now.

"Before we get married, we have a few things that need to be changed in our relationship."

Grimacing, Edward cursed in his head. His attempt to distract her hadn't worked.

"I will be allowed to visit Jacob if I want. You have no right to tell me what to do and what not to do. I have the ability to take myself home. I will be extremely pissed if you try to dazzle me to get your way. In fact, if it happens again, you _will_ find yourself in the doghouse for quite a while, and there's no dazzling me out of that," Bella stated.

The thought of his love being mad at him overruled the pain of having her see that _mutt_. Edward sighed exasperatedly, giving his reluctant agreement.

"If seeing the do– Jacob…is what will make you happy, I won't hold you back," Edward grumbled. "So is everything okay now?" he asked impatiently.

Eyes flashing with annoyance, Bella said, "No. Everything is not okay Edward. Your repeated leaving has taken its toll on me both mentally," glancing down at her scarred wrists, "and physically. I love you, and everything will work out, but this will take time Edward. I need time and space. I'm not telling you to leave, I'm asking you to let me have a personal bubble sometimes. We have agreed to the terms of our marriage, but I most certainly will _not_ be marrying you within the next few months."

Edward's eyes widened and turned sorrowful. He knew that he had no right to object. Bella's words made sense to him, even if they hurt. Edward finally understood that he had hurt Bella beyond his comprehension. Against his instincts to object and dazzle her, Edward gave in.

An exhausted sigh slipped out, but Bella allowed a small smile to peek through. She reached her hand out, slipping it into Edward's.

* * *

**A/N: Waaaaah! I'm so sad! The story is almost over! *sobs* There's only one thing left –the revealing of Emily's identity. Did you like this chapter?**

**I so desperately wanted to have Bella reject Edward's proposal…but I felt that would set me back even more chapters…**

**P.S. Thanks to my beta readers ****Eraser Bitz and masterb2!  
Thanks to Lionnara, AustralianLady, ainsley atchison, thiree, and Unstoppable naley for reviewing! Thanks to everyone else who read, or added DOTI to their favorites or story alert lists!**

**P.P.S. One more chapter to go! (That is, if I don't start going off on a tangent…hehe)**


	6. Chapter 6

*Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Chapter Six

Normal POV

It took time for both of them to heal their relationship. Edward grimaced in disgust every time Bella went down to La Push, but didn't object. He _did_ have a hard time controlling himself when Bella started riding her motorcycle around town though. Edward was also yelled at quite a few times when he got too demanding and protective –Alice and Rosalie happily helped.

Rose…it was very entertaining for the rest of the Cullens as they watched Rose become a protective –and angry– older sister. When Rosalie had heard of Bella's suicide attempt, she was shocked. The severity of Bella's love for Edward really hit her. Rose –who always wanted a normal happy human life–, was astounded that Bella would sacrifice her human life because of despair at the loss of Edward.

All of Rosalie's doubts about Bella using Edward for immortality flew out of her head. Rose had been bursting with anger at Edward ever since she came to the conclusion of just how much Bella loved Edward. In fact, as soon as they arrived back to the Cullens' home, Rose unleashed her wrath on Edward. Alice rolled back and forth on the ground cracking up while Edward was bitch-slapped by Rose, followed by a few punches and kicks here and there. Emmett guffawed loudly, and Jasper convulsed in laughter from everyone's emotions. Esme and Carlisle tried to contain their small chuckles –unsuccessfully of course.

* * *

It was amazing how much Bella had changed because of what had started as a small argument. She was confident now, and stood up for herself. Although the whole ordeal had left a scar on her, Bella and Edward's relationship was much better off. They trusted each other, and finally grasped the concept that they both loved each other unconditionally, irrevocably, and _equally_.

* * *

_**Two years later**_

"Hurry up Bella!" Alice called.

"I'm coming! I'm coming! Gah. Why'd I have to wear heels Alice? You know that the floor loves visiting me even when I'm not wearing these danger hazards!" Bella replied, slightly annoyed. As Bella came down the stairs, Alice pouted.

"This is a very important day Bella! I can't believe you're finally getting married!" Alice squealed.

Rolling her eyes, Bella stepped into the living room. On the right there was a small table set up. With three dark colored boxes on top, the table contrasted strongly against the bright decorations. Rose and Alice were dressed in sky blue dresses that cut off mid-thigh. They fit snugly on both of the girls, accenting their curves. Esme stood to the side wearing a floor length, royal blue halter dress.

"Come on Bella!" Alice said impatiently, stretching out the words like a little kid.

When Bella finally made her way over, Esme wrapped her in a hug. Then each of the three ladies picked up a box, opening them. Bella gasped. Inside the box Esme was holding, there was a clear diamond necklace. Rose held a box with a veil inside. It was covered with an intricate lace design. In the box that Alice was holding, there was a pair of earrings. They were a beautiful translucent blue color that matched Alice and Rose's dresses.

"Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue," Alice said.

"The necklace was my mother's –so it's very old– and now it's yours," Esme said.

"Your dress is new," Alice interjected before Rose could speak.

Giving Alice a dirty look, Rose handed the veil to Bella. "This was my veil from my first wedding with Emmett. It's borrowed," she said.

"And these earrings are blue!" Alice chirped happily.

After a final makeup check, Alice declared Bella ready. Carlisle magically appeared, holding his arm out for her. Taking his arm, Bella inhaled deeply, calming her nerves. Stepping forward, the back door swung open. A brilliant smile graced Bella's face as she walked down the aisle. She smoothly headed straight for Edward –her eternity, her love, her forevermore.

* * *

Emily's POV

I watched silently as my mom walked down the aisle. She was finally getting married to my father. As they exchanged their vows, I decided it was time to go home. Closing my eyes, I chanted the spell to return back to my time. Even with my eyes squeezed shut, I could see a bright light surrounding me. My feet lifted off the ground, I spun round and round. It felt like someone was stretching me apart like taffy. Finally I felt the freezing sensation. My feet touched the ground again, and I slowly opened my eyes.

"Did you have fun?" Was the first thing I heard. Spinning around to the source of the sound, a broad grin spread across my face. Aunt Abby!

"You wouldn't believe what happened! You ended up transporting me much farther back than just the wedding Aunt Abby. I went back almost two whole years before the wedding! My parents, they were having a fight when I first arrived. I watched them argue, and Dad left Mom. I transported to where Dad was, and talked some sense into him. Then I went to talk to Mom." I winced at the memory. "When I got there, she was bleeding in the bathroom. She cut herself because Dad left! He was such a jerk back then. I fixed her cut a little...although it reopened later...and then talked some sense into her too. I quickly disappeared when Dad got near. It was so funny talking to them without them knowing it was me! My fake name was Emily, but I told them to call me Emy because it sounds a bit more like Nessie." I gasped for breath when I finished.

Aunt Abby chuckled. "Slow down Renesmee, take a deep breath."

Rolling my eyes, I took a dramatic breath, and then released it loudly. Aunt Abby pouted at me.

"Anyways, have you ever heard about this fight?" I asked.

Nodding her head slowly, Aunt Abby's face turned serious.

"I wasn't there when it happened obviously, but as your mother and I became closer she shared stories from the past with me. Your father had left once before, and it left your mom catatonic. In the end they were reunited when Bella went to save Edward. However, after that incident, you mom was always a little bit uncertain. Of course she has full confidence in her relationship with you father now, but back then she always felt like he could leave again at any moment. The night I accidentally sent you back to, was actually when Bella wanted a final answer. You see, your mom's version of forever was living for eternity with Edward. So that night when your mom asked Edward to change her and he refused, she was angry, but most of all she was sad. Then the idiot left –regardless of if he planned on returning– and your mom just couldn't take it anymore. Of course as you know, they ended up very happy, with a wonderful baby girl."

_Wow_.

"My dad isn't very smart is he?" I stated.

Suddenly my door opened.

"What did I just hear? Did you just call me dumb Nessie?" Dad said with a playful wounded look.

"DADDY! You're back from your hunting trip!" I climbed onto his shoulders. It felt nice to be a seven year old again. When Aunt Abby sent me back, I took the body of a seventeen year old fairy. It felt really weird.

"Yup. How's my baby girl? What did you do today?"

I gave a secretive grin to Aunt Abby. "Nothing much Daddy." I said with an innocent look.

His eyebrows lifted up, and he looked at me suspiciously.

"What are you hiding from me?"

"You're not telling? Well I think I can get it out of you." He started tickling me on my stomach. I got up and ran away screaming, and Daddy chased me. We ran around the room and then I suddenly hit something. Looking up from the ground, my smile grew bigger.

"Mommy! Save me from Daddy! He's trying to tickle me!" I said, hugging her tightly.

She laughed, and turned to Daddy. "Edward, be nice to Nessie. No fighting," she chastised him.

Smiling the pretty crooked grin, Daddy silently came over and then picked up both of us. We both screamed and laughed as we were carried over to the sofa.

As Mommy and Daddy settled down around me, I smiled. Although Daddy had hurt Mommy, I think he was sorry.

Snuggling into the plushy sofa, I let out a contented sigh. No matter what happened in the past, Mommy, Daddy, and I are happy now.

* * *

**A/N: O.O Wow. It's the end of my very first story. I hope I didn't do too badly, and that all of my fabulous readers liked it! Congratulations to Unstoppable naley for correctly guessing Emily's identity!**

**The commitment of a story was a little hard to handle, and so I think I'll be making one shots after this. (I almost didn't make my weekly update sometimes…)**

**Sooo sorry it's kinda OCC in this chapter! I don't really know how to portray a happy Edward…coz he's all self-blaming and feeling guilty all the time.**

**P.S. Thanks to my beta readers ****Eraser Bitz and masterb2!**

**P.P.S. Muchas gracias to all of the readers and reviewers! I love you all!**

**~BlackStarrs**


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